457s THIS RAP WILL MAKE YOU SMARTER images and subtitles

- And this side here, if you're in this sectionof this little section here,what do you want to hear a rap about?- [Audience Member] Days of the week.- The days of the week?(audience laughs)What a great fuckin' suggestion!Mate, that's just so, it's right under our noses!I like that, cool.Everyone else fuckin' hated it,but they're wrong.They are.You know, he probably,it's Friday night,You're probably like,'Oh, why can't I say big hairy balls or something?"Days of the week.Right so, you guys here, what do you want to rap about?- [Audience Member] Fallopian tubes.- There were two, pigments of color and fallopian tubes.We will take the variation of colors,in fallopian tubes.(audience laughs)- I'm sure they're all different colors, aren't they?Cool, so.(audience laughs)Probably.And don't make out like you've seen them!None of you have seen fallopian tubes.My dick's so big, I fucking see them all the--No!Okay, so days of the week,the variation of color in fallopian tubes,stop explaining what fallopian tubes are.(audience laughs)What, guys in the middle, what do you want to rap about?- [Audience member] Bad facial hair!- Bad facial hair, cool.Just wanna check, that's not pointed at me is it?I am--(audience laughs)Oh good.Uh, bad facial hair,what would you say is the worst facial hair?- [Audience Member] A mustache.- A mustache?Okay, cool.I mean you had the goatee to go for,you chose mustache, no!Mustache, fine, mustache.Days of the week.The variations of color in fallopian tubes.Guys over here, so far these are some great suggestions.So let's keep it up.- [Audience Member] Axolotls.- Axolotls, ah!(audience cheers)- Jesus fucking Christ, what's wrong with you?Hi, we're the Australian Axolotl Association,Triple A, yeah, having a great time, yeah?They are an animal, but,because it's quite specific and niche,I feel like that's a fair suggestion.The animals rules just stop people sayingdogs and stuff like that.If you don't know what axolotls are,they a type of kind of permanently juvenile salamanderthat lives in a network of caves,only in Central America, specifically, I think Mexico.And yeah, fuck you, I know loads about them so,(audience laughs)I love it when people try and catch you out,and then you're like uh, when I was thirteen,I really wanted an axolotl,because I didn't have any friends.(audience laughs)- Guys over here.- [Audience Member] Brexit!- What?- [Audience Member] Brexit!- Brexit's too obvious a suggestion, I'm afraid.I know it is literally happening right now,like this is the final day.We're gonna finish the showby holding hands and singing Auld Lang Syneit's going to be great.- [Audience member] Astronauts!- Lord Lucan and astronaut.Okay, Lord Lucan astronaut, yeah.Oh, you guys know who Lord Lucan is, right?(audience shouts)Well you'll find out in the rap, won't you?(audience laughs)Okay, cool.So, I love the fact that like 20 of you knew axolotls,but you're like, oh a kind of British Lordwho murdered his wife, no, we've never heard of him.He is widely believed to be living in Australia.So, Lord Lucan astronaut, axolotls,bad facial hair, which is mustaches,the variations of color in fallopian tubes,and days of the week.Those, are some baller suggestions.And this is gonna be a baller, freestyle rap.That is a rap made up on the spotbut it's entire notes, not written or scripted,never to be seen again.No worry, it's not going to be as shit asyou think it will be!Let's drop that beat my friend, let's have some fun!(audience cheers)I chose quite a chill rap, so we get too excited,too early in the show.(rap beat)♪ A rap that's never been seen before ♪♪ My favorite day of the week is Thursday ♪♪ Because Thor the Norse God ♪♪ It's named after him, and I say ♪♪ Go back a date, you've got Odin's day ♪♪ That's why Wednesday ♪♪ Is spelled so strange ♪♪ Monday, named after moon, a big range ♪♪ Sunday the sun, obviously ♪♪ Sat, yes Saturn, the planet ♪♪ Yeah, but then Friday happened ♪♪ That's Freya, another Norse God of violence ♪♪ What's the last one yeah, I draw silence♪♪ We did all of those, yeah, I'm in heaven ♪♪ It's Norse Valhalla counting the days of the week ♪♪ That is seven ♪♪ And Wednesday, is the hump day ♪♪ I can't handle ya ♪♪ I always cross it out, there on the calendar ♪♪ I don't want it ♪♪ Oh, I remember, Tuesday, yeah let me come ♪♪ And sever one hand off ♪♪ That's what the God Tew did ♪♪ People forget about him ♪♪ I kid you ♪♪ TYR is technically Tyr's day ♪♪ Having lots of fun, hold the hands and sway ♪♪ Nobody likes Norse gods ♪♪ But that's not that odd ♪♪ I look down in the kind of female bod ♪♪ I stare down ♪♪ I get my little scalpel ♪♪ And then I insert it above the genitals ♪♪ I'm looking to the side, yeah I peer through this ♪♪ It's a speculum right at the uterus ♪♪ I look to the side, and I'm so happy ♪♪ To be greeted by what transports the egg ♪♪ From the ovary ♪♪ That's the fallopian tube ♪♪ And make sure into the womb it moves ♪♪ You might just think ♪♪ I thought it all was vaginas, but no ♪♪ It's amazing ♪♪ Some of them are dull and some of them are shiny ♪♪ Some of them are pink ♪♪ Some of them are purple ♪♪ Some of them are dull brown ♪♪ That's quite hurtful ♪♪ If your fallopians was so beige-y ♪♪ Kind of horrible, but still ♪♪ They make babies ♪♪ That's right ♪♪ Then you push them out from down there ♪♪ When the baby's born it has no facial hair ♪♪ And if it did, really, you would shave its face ♪♪ A baby with a mustache, in that place ♪♪ On the lip, on the palate ♪♪ You'd say whoa, infant, get it off, take a little Bic ♪♪ Razor in front ♪♪ Shave off the lip ♪♪ Yeah, get there ♪♪ I made the baby look like Adolf Hitler ♪♪ Why did Hitler have a mustache? ♪♪ Was it when he was young? ♪♪ Maybe, probably ♪♪ Yeah I feel highly strung ♪♪ Like a Lord running from the law when he killed a nanny ♪♪ Yeah, we know about this, you don't understand me ♪♪ Lord Lucan, not stealin', not lootin' ♪♪ He ran away, on a train, from Luton ♪♪ That's a railway station near London ♪♪ Went off to Cape Canaveral ♪♪ Yeah, we thundered ♪♪ Right through the door ♪♪ Said the nanny, I just glassed her ♪♪ So I need to sign up here, to NASA ♪♪ Please, take me into space on the shuttle ♪♪ I'm really in trouble because ♪♪ The nanny is in a puddle of blood ♪♪ And my wife, and my son came home ♪♪ And said why'd you kill the nanny, Lord ♪♪ But I was gone ♪♪ I ran away, and a lot Lorde like the kiwi singer ♪♪ I'm in space now ♪♪ Please come try and bring all of the food ♪♪ And the nutrients I need, to the ISS ♪♪ My horrible greed led to me to be murdered ♪♪ Need to be killed ♪♪ I'm the worst Lord since Lord Damon Hill ♪♪ He was a racing driver ♪♪ I don't think he was made into a Lord ♪♪ Could have said Lord Alan Sugar ♪♪ I would be adored ♪♪ What was the last one from you guys in this section ♪♪ Spit it back at me, yeah gimme that reflection ♪♪ Off the water, I see a tiny thing ♪♪ Lookin' like a snake ♪♪ but it's got some tiny, little legs ♪♪ You know I want to take it from Mexico ♪♪ They're illegal to export ♪♪ And if I find out, I will fuckin' report you ♪♪ 'Cause they're so damn cute ♪♪ I feel quite astute ♪♪ I feel intelligent that I know these tiny little newts ♪♪ Some of them are black, and some of them are white ♪♪ They've got great blind vision ♪♪ in the middle of the night ♪♪ They're not like fish ♪♪ but they're not like amphibians ♪♪ Yeah, look at the little gills and their little limbs ♪♪ They look kind of feathery red ♪♪ It's like they've got little quills ♪♪ in the side of their head ♪♪ Why did I like them so much, when I was a smile (meant to say child obviously) ♪♪ I really love the axolotls, yeah ♪♪ Lookin' at the child (and clearly that should have been smile) ♪♪ They're always grinning, like a quokka ♪♪ So I'm going to go to Mexico, with a bottle ♪♪ I'm walkin' to the cave, and try and beckon it in ♪♪ Say, c'mon little axolotl give it a grin ♪♪ And it would swim, right up to me ♪♪ And then I transport it, out of the country ♪♪ How I put in my bum, ♪♪ I'd waddle through security ♪♪ Take it back it there, I would adore it ♪♪ It'd stare at me ♪♪ I'd pat it on his head ♪♪ I would say, you're great ♪♪ And then I'd invite round my best mate - Lord Lucan ♪♪ There you go ♪Thank you for watching.Please watch more with playlists, here.Subscribe here.Like, comment, all those things.Shouting, bye!

THIS RAP WILL MAKE YOU SMARTER

Book a personalised freestyle rap at www.cameo.com/christurnercomedy Taking any suggestions the audience can throw at him, British Comedian and Rapper, Chris Turner absolutely EDUCATES with an insane off the dome dope freestyle rap about: 🔥 AXOLOTL 🔥 🔥 DAYS OF THE WEEK 🔥 🔥 LORD LUCAN: ASTRONAUT 🔥 🔥 BAD FACIAL HAIR (MOUSTACHES) 🔥 🔥 THE VARIATION OF COLOUR IN FALLOPIAN TUBES 🔥 Get this guy on Sway in the Morning! Beat: ‘You and Me' - Sedivi : www.youtube.com/watch Recorded at The Black Flamingo, Perth Fringeworld. ---------- For fans of: #SwayIntheMorning #SwaysUniverse #freestylerap #macmiller #logic #eminem #lildicky #rapbeats #5fingersofdeath #waynebrady
sways universe, freestyle rapper, comedy rapper, musical comedy, five fingers of death, christurnercomedy, twitch rapping, freestyle rap, rap music, sway in the morning, twitch freestyle, rapping, freestyling, freestyle hip hop, hip hop, comedy rap, off the dome,
< ?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" ?><>

< start="0" dur="1.443">- And this side here, if you're in this section>

< start="1.443" dur="1.264">of this little section here,>

< start="2.707" dur="1.806">what do you want to hear a rap about?>

< start="5.98" dur="1.11">- [Audience Member] Days of the week.>

< start="7.09" dur="0.975">- The days of the week?>

< start="8.065" dur="0.833">(audience laughs)>

< start="8.898" dur="2.012">What a great fuckin' suggestion!>

< start="10.91" dur="2.16">Mate, that's just so, it's right under our noses!>

< start="13.07" dur="1.59">I like that, cool.>

< start="14.66" dur="1.22">Everyone else fuckin' hated it,>

< start="15.88" dur="0.833">but they're wrong.>

< start="16.713" dur="1.047">They are.>

< start="17.76" dur="1.01">You know, he probably,>

< start="18.77" dur="0.833">it's Friday night,>

< start="19.603" dur="0.833">You're probably like,>

< start="20.436" dur="2.464">'Oh, why can't I say big hairy balls or something?">

< start="22.9" dur="0.833">Days of the week.>

< start="23.733" dur="2.692">Right so, you guys here, what do you want to rap about?>

< start="26.425" dur="1.185">- [Audience Member] Fallopian tubes.>

< start="27.61" dur="3.43">- There were two, pigments of color and fallopian tubes.>

< start="31.04" dur="3.19">We will take the variation of colors,>

< start="34.23" dur="1.354">in fallopian tubes.>

< start="35.584" dur="2.113">(audience laughs)>

< start="37.697" dur="2.423">- I'm sure they're all different colors, aren't they?>

< start="40.12" dur="0.856">Cool, so.>

< start="40.976" dur="1.164">(audience laughs)>

< start="42.14" dur="1.43">Probably.>

< start="43.57" dur="1.16">And don't make out like you've seen them!>

< start="44.73" dur="2.44">None of you have seen fallopian tubes.>

< start="47.17" dur="2.09">My dick's so big, I fucking see them all the-->

< start="49.26" dur="0.833">No!>

< start="51.67" dur="1.38">Okay, so days of the week,>

< start="53.05" dur="2.25">the variation of color in fallopian tubes,>

< start="55.3" dur="1.668">stop explaining what fallopian tubes are.>

< start="56.968" dur="2.562">(audience laughs)>

< start="59.53" dur="1.98">What, guys in the middle, what do you want to rap about?>

< start="61.51" dur="0.89">- [Audience member] Bad facial hair!>

< start="62.4" dur="1.88">- Bad facial hair, cool.>

< start="64.28" dur="1.73">Just wanna check, that's not pointed at me is it?>

< start="66.01" dur="0.927">I am-->

< start="66.937" dur="0.833">(audience laughs)>

< start="67.77" dur="0.833">Oh good.>

< start="68.603" dur="0.833">Uh, bad facial hair,>

< start="69.436" dur="1.937">what would you say is the worst facial hair?>

< start="72.806" dur="0.833">- [Audience Member] A mustache.>

< start="73.639" dur="0.941">- A mustache?>

< start="74.58" dur="0.833">Okay, cool.>

< start="75.413" dur="1.947">I mean you had the goatee to go for,>

< start="77.36" dur="1.86">you chose mustache, no!>

< start="79.22" dur="1.93">Mustache, fine, mustache.>

< start="81.15" dur="0.833">Days of the week.>

< start="81.983" dur="2.447">The variations of color in fallopian tubes.>

< start="84.43" dur="2.24">Guys over here, so far these are some great suggestions.>

< start="86.67" dur="1.123">So let's keep it up.>

< start="87.793" dur="1.036">- [Audience Member] Axolotls.>

< start="88.829" dur="1.388">- Axolotls, ah!>

< start="90.217" dur="1.233">(audience cheers)>

< start="91.45" dur="2.83">- Jesus fucking Christ, what's wrong with you?>

< start="94.28" dur="1.98">Hi, we're the Australian Axolotl Association,>

< start="96.26" dur="2.56">Triple A, yeah, having a great time, yeah?>

< start="98.82" dur="1.2">They are an animal, but,>

< start="101.12" dur="2.12">because it's quite specific and niche,>

< start="103.24" dur="2.06">I feel like that's a fair suggestion.>

< start="105.3" dur="1.23">The animals rules just stop people saying>

< start="106.53" dur="1.34">dogs and stuff like that.>

< start="107.87" dur="1.32">If you don't know what axolotls are,>

< start="109.19" dur="3.2">they a type of kind of permanently juvenile salamander>

< start="112.39" dur="1.58">that lives in a network of caves,>

< start="113.97" dur="2.64">only in Central America, specifically, I think Mexico.>

< start="116.61" dur="2.171">And yeah, fuck you, I know loads about them so,>

< start="118.781" dur="1.739">(audience laughs)>

< start="120.52" dur="1.74">I love it when people try and catch you out,>

< start="122.26" dur="1.65">and then you're like uh, when I was thirteen,>

< start="123.91" dur="1.16">I really wanted an axolotl,>

< start="125.07" dur="1.436">because I didn't have any friends.>

< start="126.506" dur="1.844">(audience laughs)>

< start="128.35" dur="1.1">- Guys over here.>

< start="129.45" dur="0.833">- [Audience Member] Brexit!>

< start="130.283" dur="0.833">- What?>

< start="131.116" dur="0.833">- [Audience Member] Brexit!>

< start="131.949" dur="1.331">- Brexit's too obvious a suggestion, I'm afraid.>

< start="133.28" dur="1.99">I know it is literally happening right now,>

< start="135.27" dur="1.8">like this is the final day.>

< start="137.07" dur="0.85">We're gonna finish the show>

< start="137.92" dur="1.98">by holding hands and singing Auld Lang Syne>

< start="139.9" dur="1.867">it's going to be great.>

< start="141.767" dur="1.473">- [Audience member] Astronauts!>

< start="143.24" dur="1.44">- Lord Lucan and astronaut.>

< start="144.68" dur="3.14">Okay, Lord Lucan astronaut, yeah.>

< start="147.82" dur="2.418">Oh, you guys know who Lord Lucan is, right?>

< start="150.238" dur="0.852">(audience shouts)>

< start="151.09" dur="1.639">Well you'll find out in the rap, won't you?>

< start="152.729" dur="1.971">(audience laughs)>

< start="154.7" dur="0.833">Okay, cool.>

< start="155.533" dur="2.467">So, I love the fact that like 20 of you knew axolotls,>

< start="158" dur="2.57">but you're like, oh a kind of British Lord>

< start="160.57" dur="2.33">who murdered his wife, no, we've never heard of him.>

< start="162.9" dur="3.03">He is widely believed to be living in Australia.>

< start="165.93" dur="3.63">So, Lord Lucan astronaut, axolotls,>

< start="169.56" dur="2.13">bad facial hair, which is mustaches,>

< start="171.69" dur="2">the variations of color in fallopian tubes,>

< start="173.69" dur="0.943">and days of the week.>

< start="174.633" dur="2.347">Those, are some baller suggestions.>

< start="176.98" dur="2.153">And this is gonna be a baller, freestyle rap.>

< start="179.133" dur="1.637">That is a rap made up on the spot>

< start="180.77" dur="1.711">but it's entire notes, not written or scripted,>

< start="182.481" dur="1.299">never to be seen again.>

< start="183.78" dur="2.03">No worry, it's not going to be as shit as>

< start="185.81" dur="1.38">you think it will be!>

< start="187.19" dur="2.66">Let's drop that beat my friend, let's have some fun!>

< start="189.85" dur="2.833">(audience cheers)>

< start="194.134" dur="2.146">I chose quite a chill rap, so we get too excited,>

< start="196.28" dur="1.1">too early in the show.>

< start="198.684" dur="2.25">(rap beat)>

< start="202.348" dur="1.866">♪ A rap that's never been seen before ♪>

< start="204.214" dur="1.667">♪ My favorite day of the week is Thursday ♪>

< start="205.881" dur="1.886">♪ Because Thor the Norse God ♪>

< start="207.767" dur="2.375">♪ It's named after him, and I say ♪>

< start="210.142" dur="2.039">♪ Go back a date, you've got Odin's day ♪>

< start="212.181" dur="1.062">♪ That's why Wednesday ♪>

< start="213.243" dur="1.48">♪ Is spelled so strange ♪>

< start="214.723" dur="2.546">♪ Monday, named after moon, a big range ♪>

< start="217.269" dur="2.057">♪ Sunday the sun, obviously ♪>

< start="219.326" dur="2.088">♪ Sat, yes Saturn, the planet ♪>

< start="221.414" dur="1.88">♪ Yeah, but then Friday happened ♪>

< start="223.294" dur="2.597">♪ That's Freya, another Norse God of violence ♪>

< start="225.891" dur="2.83">♪ What's the last one yeah, I draw silence♪>

< start="228.721" dur="2.411">♪ We did all of those, yeah, I'm in heaven ♪>

< start="231.132" dur="1.964">♪ It's Norse Valhalla counting the days of the week ♪>

< start="233.096" dur="0.833">♪ That is seven ♪>

< start="233.929" dur="1.814">♪ And Wednesday, is the hump day ♪>

< start="235.743" dur="1.379">♪ I can't handle ya ♪>

< start="237.122" dur="2.658">♪ I always cross it out, there on the calendar ♪>

< start="239.78" dur="1.132">♪ I don't want it ♪>

< start="240.912" dur="3.028">♪ Oh, I remember, Tuesday, yeah let me come ♪>

< start="243.94" dur="1.562">♪ And sever one hand off ♪>

< start="245.502" dur="1.766">♪ That's what the God Tew did ♪>

< start="247.268" dur="1.919">♪ People forget about him ♪>

< start="249.187" dur="1.135">♪ I kid you ♪>

< start="250.322" dur="2.684">♪ TYR is technically Tyr's day ♪>

< start="253.006" dur="2.162">♪ Having lots of fun, hold the hands and sway ♪>

< start="255.168" dur="1.32">♪ Nobody likes Norse gods ♪>

< start="256.488" dur="1.394">♪ But that's not that odd ♪>

< start="257.882" dur="3.003">♪ I look down in the kind of female bod ♪>

< start="260.885" dur="0.887">♪ I stare down ♪>

< start="261.772" dur="1.504">♪ I get my little scalpel ♪>

< start="263.276" dur="2.728">♪ And then I insert it above the genitals ♪>

< start="266.004" dur="2.673">♪ I'm looking to the side, yeah I peer through this ♪>

< start="268.677" dur="2.645">♪ It's a speculum right at the uterus ♪>

< start="271.322" dur="2.612">♪ I look to the side, and I'm so happy ♪>

< start="273.934" dur="2.068">♪ To be greeted by what transports the egg ♪>

< start="276.002" dur="1.194">♪ From the ovary ♪>

< start="277.196" dur="1.817">♪ That's the fallopian tube ♪>

< start="279.013" dur="2.691">♪ And make sure into the womb it moves ♪>

< start="281.704" dur="1.005">♪ You might just think ♪>

< start="282.709" dur="2.371">♪ I thought it all was vaginas, but no ♪>

< start="285.08" dur="0.833">♪ It's amazing ♪>

< start="285.913" dur="1.936">♪ Some of them are dull and some of them are shiny ♪>

< start="287.849" dur="1.227">♪ Some of them are pink ♪>

< start="289.076" dur="1.463">♪ Some of them are purple ♪>

< start="290.539" dur="1.302">♪ Some of them are dull brown ♪>

< start="291.841" dur="1.195">♪ That's quite hurtful ♪>

< start="293.036" dur="2.852">♪ If your fallopians was so beige-y ♪>

< start="295.888" dur="1.303">♪ Kind of horrible, but still ♪>

< start="297.191" dur="1.405">♪ They make babies ♪>

< start="298.596" dur="0.833">♪ That's right ♪>

< start="299.429" dur="1.916">♪ Then you push them out from down there ♪>

< start="301.345" dur="2.516">♪ When the baby's born it has no facial hair ♪>

< start="303.861" dur="2.432">♪ And if it did, really, you would shave its face ♪>

< start="306.293" dur="2.627">♪ A baby with a mustache, in that place ♪>

< start="308.92" dur="1.663">♪ On the lip, on the palate ♪>

< start="310.583" dur="3.202">♪ You'd say whoa, infant, get it off, take a little Bic ♪>

< start="313.785" dur="0.978">♪ Razor in front ♪>

< start="314.763" dur="1.177">♪ Shave off the lip ♪>

< start="315.94" dur="1.395">♪ Yeah, get there ♪>

< start="317.335" dur="2.447">♪ I made the baby look like Adolf Hitler ♪>

< start="319.782" dur="1.7">♪ Why did Hitler have a mustache? ♪>

< start="321.482" dur="1.401">♪ Was it when he was young? ♪>

< start="322.883" dur="1.305">♪ Maybe, probably ♪>

< start="324.188" dur="1.215">♪ Yeah I feel highly strung ♪>

< start="325.403" dur="2.859">♪ Like a Lord running from the law when he killed a nanny ♪>

< start="328.262" dur="2.631">♪ Yeah, we know about this, you don't understand me ♪>

< start="330.893" dur="2.472">♪ Lord Lucan, not stealin', not lootin' ♪>

< start="333.365" dur="2.715">♪ He ran away, on a train, from Luton ♪>

< start="336.08" dur="2.139">♪ That's a railway station near London ♪>

< start="338.219" dur="1.598">♪ Went off to Cape Canaveral ♪>

< start="339.817" dur="0.977">♪ Yeah, we thundered ♪>

< start="340.794" dur="1.263">♪ Right through the door ♪>

< start="342.057" dur="2.254">♪ Said the nanny, I just glassed her ♪>

< start="344.311" dur="2.495">♪ So I need to sign up here, to NASA ♪>

< start="346.806" dur="2.516">♪ Please, take me into space on the shuttle ♪>

< start="349.322" dur="1.587">♪ I'm really in trouble because ♪>

< start="350.909" dur="1.563">♪ The nanny is in a puddle of blood ♪>

< start="352.472" dur="2.158">♪ And my wife, and my son came home ♪>

< start="354.63" dur="1.586">♪ And said why'd you kill the nanny, Lord ♪>

< start="356.216" dur="1.265">♪ But I was gone ♪>

< start="357.481" dur="2.995">♪ I ran away, and a lot Lorde like the kiwi singer ♪>

< start="360.476" dur="1.272">♪ I'm in space now ♪>

< start="361.748" dur="2.221">♪ Please come try and bring all of the food ♪>

< start="363.969" dur="2.592">♪ And the nutrients I need, to the ISS ♪>

< start="366.561" dur="2.873">♪ My horrible greed led to me to be murdered ♪>

< start="369.434" dur="1.294">♪ Need to be killed ♪>

< start="370.728" dur="2.61">♪ I'm the worst Lord since Lord Damon Hill ♪>

< start="373.338" dur="1.228">♪ He was a racing driver ♪>

< start="374.566" dur="1.473">♪ I don't think he was made into a Lord ♪>

< start="376.039" dur="1.546">♪ Could have said Lord Alan Sugar ♪>

< start="377.585" dur="1.373">♪ I would be adored ♪>

< start="378.958" dur="2.792">♪ What was the last one from you guys in this section ♪>

< start="381.75" dur="2.653">♪ Spit it back at me, yeah gimme that reflection ♪>

< start="384.403" dur="1.836">♪ Off the water, I see a tiny thing ♪>

< start="386.239" dur="1.17">♪ Lookin' like a snake ♪>

< start="387.409" dur="1.523">♪ but it's got some tiny, little legs ♪>

< start="388.932" dur="1.894">♪ You know I want to take it from Mexico ♪>

< start="390.826" dur="1.582">♪ They're illegal to export ♪>

< start="392.408" dur="2.557">♪ And if I find out, I will fuckin' report you ♪>

< start="394.965" dur="1.539">♪ 'Cause they're so damn cute ♪>

< start="396.504" dur="1.198">♪ I feel quite astute ♪>

< start="397.702" dur="2.824">♪ I feel intelligent that I know these tiny little newts ♪>

< start="400.526" dur="2.489">♪ Some of them are black, and some of them are white ♪>

< start="403.015" dur="1.351">♪ They've got great blind vision ♪>

< start="404.366" dur="1.454">♪ in the middle of the night ♪>

< start="405.82" dur="1.194">♪ They're not like fish ♪>

< start="407.014" dur="1.733">♪ but they're not like amphibians ♪>

< start="408.747" dur="2.559">♪ Yeah, look at the little gills and their little limbs ♪>

< start="411.306" dur="1.882">♪ They look kind of feathery red ♪>

< start="413.188" dur="1.336">♪ It's like they've got little quills ♪>

< start="414.524" dur="1.309">♪ in the side of their head ♪>

< start="415.833" dur="3.206">♪ Why did I like them so much, when I was a smile (meant to say child obviously) ♪>

< start="419.039" dur="1.667">♪ I really love the axolotls, yeah ♪>

< start="420.706" dur="1.268">♪ Lookin' at the child (and clearly that should have been smile) ♪>

< start="421.974" dur="2.247">♪ They're always grinning, like a quokka ♪>

< start="424.221" dur="2.424">♪ So I'm going to go to Mexico, with a bottle ♪>

< start="426.645" dur="2.729">♪ I'm walkin' to the cave, and try and beckon it in ♪>

< start="429.374" dur="3.139">♪ Say, c'mon little axolotl give it a grin ♪>

< start="432.513" dur="2.66">♪ And it would swim, right up to me ♪>

< start="435.173" dur="2.629">♪ And then I transport it, out of the country ♪>

< start="437.802" dur="1.447">♪ How I put in my bum, ♪>

< start="439.249" dur="1.549">♪ I'd waddle through security ♪>

< start="440.798" dur="2.062">♪ Take it back it there, I would adore it ♪>

< start="442.86" dur="1.059">♪ It'd stare at me ♪>

< start="443.919" dur="0.905">♪ I'd pat it on his head ♪>

< start="444.824" dur="1.343">♪ I would say, you're great ♪>

< start="446.167" dur="2.556">♪ And then I'd invite round my best mate - Lord Lucan ♪>

< start="448.723" dur="0.833">♪ There you go ♪>

< start="449.556" dur="0.894">Thank you for watching.>

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< start="455.328" dur="1.172">Shouting, bye!>